Recent “House of the Dragon” premiere in London, presenter Sue Perkins inadvertently misgendered actor Emma D’Arcy, who is non-binary and uses ‘they/them’ pronouns. This incident sparked a notable response from co-star Matt Smith, showcasing a perfect example of pronoun respect.
Matt Smith’s Response Sets a Standard
During the interview, Perkins referred to D’Arcy as ‘she’ multiple times. Without directly addressing the mistake, Matt Smith responded graciously, using the correct pronouns: “I have to say, aren’t they brilliant? They are absolutely brilliant, and you’re in for a real treat with Emma this year… It’s a really great performance.” This respectful correction resonated with many, garnering tens of thousands of likes on social media.
Perkins’ Apology Demonstrates Allyship
Following the incident, Perkins took to X (formerly Twitter) to apologize, acknowledging her mistake: “It was a s****y mistake. Had loads of stuff going on in my earpiece and so wasn’t as focused as I should have been. No excuses though. These things matter and I feel terrible about it. Am a massive fan of their work and would never want to be disrespectful.”
The Importance of Intent and Accountability
Mistakes with pronouns can happen, but what’s crucial is how they are addressed. Perkins’ apology serves as a model of how to own up to errors and move forward constructively. This approach can make a significant difference in reducing the harm caused by Misgendering.
Personal Reflections on Misgendering
For those who have transitioned, like myself, being misgendered is a painful experience. During my early transition, even well-meaning friends and family made mistakes, but their intentions were never malicious. Misgendering, especially when repeated, can feel like a constant poke that eventually starts to hurt deeply. An earnest apology can help mitigate this pain.
Broader Implications and the Need for Preparation
This incident isn’t isolated. Earlier this year, the non-binary Swiss winner of Eurovision, Nemo, was misgendered by commentators and contestants alike. Such mistakes highlight the need for journalists and interviewers to do their homework and respect individuals’ pronouns. Proper preparation and humility can go a long way in fostering respect and inclusion.
Moving Forward with Respect
For those who find themselves correcting their pronoun usage, it’s important to be humble and receptive. When corrected, view it as a supportive gesture rather than an attack. Remember, the misgendered person likely feels worse than you do about the mistake. Practice and a willingness to get it right are key to respecting everyone’s identity.
Allies Make a Difference
Trans and non-binary people deserve to be respected and recognized for who they are. Using correct pronouns is a basic aspect of human decency. Allies like Matt Smith, who show respect, and individuals like Sue Perkins, who take accountability, are crucial in creating a more inclusive world.
By adopting these respectful practices, we can all contribute to a more understanding and supportive society.
