Welcome to another week in Trump’s America, where logic takes a backseat, and political chaos is the main event. With his ever-loyal base cheering him on, Donald Trump has set his sights on two wildly different targets: CBS and Gaza. That’s right—while Americans struggle to afford eggs, Trump is demanding a mind-blowing $10 billion from CBS over an interview edit and casually suggesting the U.S. should “take over” Gaza.
A Government Built on Incompetence
For months, Trump and his cronies have been raging against diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI), blaming it for all of America’s woes. And yet, his administration looks like a lineup of rejected reality show contestants, filled with the kind of unqualified hires that make Anthony Scaramucci’s 11-day stint seem like a solid career run. His cabinet—let’s call it the Kabinet of Korrupt Kooks—is shaping up to be an absolute train wreck, and we’re all stuck watching in slow motion.
Trump’s Gaza Gambit: The Ultimate Power Move (or Just a Dumb One?)
If you thought Trump’s foreign policy couldn’t get worse, buckle up. The former reality TV star turned wannabe dictator has decided that the United States should just take Gaza. Never mind the fact that nearly every global leader except Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu—thinks it’s a catastrophically bad idea. But hey, if it means a tax haven for the ultra-rich, it’s almost guaranteed to gain traction.
CBS Lawsuit: A Billionaire’s Temper Tantrum
As if playing real-life Risk with an actual war zone wasn’t enough, Trump is also suing CBS for a staggering $10 billion over how 60 Minutes edited Kamala Harris’ interview. That’s right—ten. billion. dollars. The sheer absurdity is enough to make anyone’s eyes water (or just laugh uncontrollably). But let’s be honest, the real tragedy here isn’t the lawsuit—it’s the demise of Fox News. Sorry, Jesse Watters, but your boss is too busy picking fights with real networks.
Marjorie Taylor Greene: Trump’s Biggest Cheerleader (and Maybe His Biggest Fan Girl?)
Meanwhile, over on X (formerly Twitter), Marjorie Taylor Greene is practically writing love letters to Trump. Her latest posts sound eerily similar to the way pet owners gush about their aging dogs: “He’s so sharp today! So strong! So full of energy!” Someone should check her diary—there’s a good chance it’s filled with doodles of “Mrs. Marjorie Trump.” When she’s not busy daydreaming about her political crush, she’s accusing the left of planning an insurrection—an ironic twist, considering her history with, well… insurrections.
Hakeem Jeffries and Adam Kinzinger: The Resistance Holds Strong
Not everyone is rolling over for Trump’s chaos. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries is proving he was the right pick to succeed Nancy Pelosi, and former Congressman Adam Kinzinger is still throwing punches from the sidelines. Despite being out of office since 2023, Kinzinger refuses to stay silent, taking on both Trump and Elon Musk in one fell swoop. Just when you think all hope is lost, there are still people willing to fight for sanity.
Tim Walz Roasts ‘President’ Elon Musk
Speaking of Musk, let’s not forget about the billionaire-turned-Twitter-overlord who’s unofficially running the country. While Kamala Harris may have been denied the presidency, her running mate Tim Walz is making sure his voice is still heard. This week, he delivered the perfect clapback against Musk’s outsized influence on Trump’s administration.
“Elon Musk is a terrible president,” Walz tweeted. Six words, two burns, and one glorious mic drop. If only he had brought this energy to the campaign trail—maybe Andy Samberg wouldn’t have lost four years of SNL material.
Trump’s Tyrannical Reign Marches On
Whether he’s waging war on the media or trying to claim foreign land like it’s a Monopoly board, one thing is clear: Trump has no intention of slowing down. If his recent tantrums are any indication, the next four years will be a chaotic mix of lawsuits, global embarrassment, and political insanity. America, brace yourself—this roller coaster is just getting started.
